Vintage

"Kill two stones with one bird."

Cut the Grass

My coworker just referred to a "lawn mower" as a "mow lawner."

Yum

Do old habits die hard?

R: "Hey, he's puking too. Are you gonna make out with him?"
K: "I'm not that drunk."

English Please

Someone I know just pronounced Miley Cyrus... "Mini Serious."

Sign of the Times

Disturbing for me, but perhaps not those born 10 years later. Generational gap? Getting wider, and quick.

I volunteer at a hospital and my shift is filled with high schoolers. The other day, while on break, the topic of girls bra sizes came up. And for some reason, one of the male volunteers proclaimed that he is quite accurate at guessing bra sizes. To illustrate his technique, he makes a cupping motion over his own chest and says, "Now just imagine those are B cups, and go from there."

Now I thought this was extremely bizarre, but the rest of the guys seemed supremely interested. Another of the male volunteers interjected and said that he approaches girls from time to time and asks them if he can guess their bra size. Apparently, his subjects are open to the challenge and usually accept, telling him not only if he is right or wrong, but the correct size as well. That completely threw me for a loop.

Kids these days...

Crayfish

So on Monday, Mr. J brought in 3 crayfish that his daughter had caught? Not sure if that's true or not...

Mr. J is an interesting fellow. He repeatedly stuck his hand into the tank only to have it pincered by one of the crayfish. Within 2 hours, one of them died probably due to a lack of O2 in fish tank. So in order to keep the other 2 alive, we used an air pump from an old fish tank.

Some time afterwards, Mr. J decided that he would extract the two remaining crayfish from the tank and have them "joust" on Mr. M's desk. I believe the inspiration comes from a clip like this:


Fast foward to Tuesday morning. I come into work to find that one of the crayfish has killed the other one! The dead one was missing one of its claws. Meanwhile, Mr. J has begun talking about different ways to cook the remaining one... using the microwave. Sadness.